Francesco Comito (@francesco.comito.official/) is a prominent attorney turned millionaire entrepreneur and bestselling author based in Italy.
Colton Winkelman (@iamcoltonwinkelman/) is a fast-rising Millennial leader, entrepreneur and investor in personal growth and development.
About This Episode:
In this episode of “#quarantineconversations” I have conversations with noted thought leaders and brand builders—Francesco Comito, Lindsey Curry, and Colton Winkelman—on the topic of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). We talk about why it’s so important in today’s world and provide some tips and tools that can help us raise our EQ, elevate our level of living and be a lighthouse for others.
Many of us don’t hear the words “emotional intelligence” (EQ) used a lot. My definition:
“Emotional intelligence” is being in control of all our emotions and using them with positive intent to get the best outcome for everyone involved.
This is a topic that can change not only the way you ‘get through’ quarantine, but how you can also ‘grow through’ it. It’s a topic that can change your life in every way, every day and elevate the whole way you live—but only if it’s something you learn how to master.
Here’s a principle to kick things off:
High emotional intelligence is the ability to intentionally respond instead of emotionally react.
We’re all guilty of this where we let our emotions and reactions get the best of us.
In this episode, I spoke with Francesco Comito, a very successful prominent attorney in Italy who turned into an amazing entrepreneur and bestselling author. While working with him over the past couple of years, I’ve looked up to him for always keeping a very level head and approaching everything with high EQ. I asked him how he’s able to keep his EQ up in the face of challenges.
“I use a mental strategy that has a change of focus—from negative to positivity, and I find opportunity in that,” he said. “Pay attention to all the good things you have in our life. Train your mental flexibility. Make every hour worth it. Learn a new language. Spend time with family. Feel blessed to be alive. Add value to other people’s life. As humans we are not born to stay alone but to share our life with other people and help them grow.”
We talked about how important it is to 1) be adaptable (which means letting things go) and 2) be grateful (appreciating what you have right now). Francesco shared that every morning and night he reviews his Gratitude List.
Lindsey Curry then joined the show. I’ve had the opportunity to work with her on various community-marketing brands and have a ton of respect for how she approaches situations as a very successful entrepreneur, a brand builder in the dance industry and a bestselling author. She explained that our feelings are often not our reality and that although we might not be able to control what goes on around us, we always have control over how we react to those feelings.
Lindsey shared one of her tools for shifting our energy to create much-needed pause through a focused breathing technique and affirmation of “I am safe. I am well. And, I am in control.”
We discussed how elevating your EQ means being able to identify your 1) breaking/boiling points and 2) emotional triggers.
Finally, I had a conversation with Colton Winkelman, who is a Millennial leader wise beyond his years and who I’ve seen time and time again demonstrate high EQ.
“Emotion is energy in motion; our thoughts create our reality,” he said, and then shared how he makes sure to wake up an hour earlier than he used to every day so that “I can run the day instead of the day running me.” Like Francesco, Colton also managed his emotions through the daily habit of a gratitude list. He also uses the Pause Technique and waits one second before responding to anything.
Some final thoughts about EQ…
- My cardinal rule: Never have a highly charged emotional conversation in text; it will never end well
- There’s many polarizing conversations and hyperboles today; always look for common ground to create alignment
- High EQ focuses on facts and does not overgeneralize
- High EQ also means maintaining mutual respect and developing empathy
- When you hit an emotional trigger or boiling point, become mindful of it
- Explain how you feel; don’t attack the person. Start conversations with: “This is how I feel…”
- Admit your mistakes; take feedback and grow from it. Don’t see feedback as criticism
Let’s all raise our EQ and being a lighthouse in these times.
What’s one thing you got from the episode that you can implement today?
Holy Shift by Lindsey Curry